Life as I Know It: 2011

Dear Loyal Readers,

About five months ago, my great friend, Sebastian, who does web design came to me with the idea of me leaving Blogger, and creating my own website. He explained that there were so many more opportunities out there by creating my own domain name, and starting my own website.

I laughed at him. I blew him off and made it clear that I blogged for ME and I was comfortable with Blogger. I had the mentality that, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it..."

A month later, he came to me again with the same idea. You see, Sebastian is a persistent one. He made it clear AGAIN that he wanted nothing from me...Just a chance to help me because he saw something in my writing.

I thought about it for a few minutes, laughed, and then blew him off again.

It was not until the third time he mentioned the idea, along with the consistent encouragement from my family and a few close friends over the past couple months, that I really began to think about the positive side of having not just a blog, but an actual website.

I found that I had to put my confidence issues aside, while I thought about it long and hard, and talked it through with quite a few people.

It was through this process of gathering facts and other people's opinions, that I found my opinion slowly (and I mean slowly) beginning to change.

I started thinking that if I had my own website, I could possibly...

Reach more people.
Network with more people.
Have a better platform to advocate for both diseases.
Provide a safe haven for people who are experiencing similar issues to communicate with me and each other.
Provide a more informational site.
Take my blog and turn it into a website that is very important and personal to me.
Have a site where the opportunities (including expansion) would be endless.
Have more control over the technological, creative, and expressive aspects.
Get to a point where I could possibly give back and advertise for places who have been integral in helping me regain a quality of life.

These reasons, along with my Mom and sisters reminding me over and over again that my blog was in desperate need of a makeover, prompted me to be the one to pursue a conversation with Sebastian this time around.

I was honest with him. I told him I hate change. I explained that the responsibilities that would come with having my own website freaked me out. I told him I was scared that no one would follow me to the new site if I moved. I realized that my insecurities were emerging big time. I told him many times that I did not think my writing warranted my own site.

I also warned him that I am perfectionist and he would probably hate working with me.

BUT...I told him, if he was ready, then I was ready to TRY IT. Try it, because I did see the positives of creating my own website.

From there, we got to work. It's funny because it did not take long until I got into the whole process. It was pretty freeing to have so much creative control

If only you could have been a fly on the wall for our multiple phone meetings and our few face to face meetings. Looking back, they were pretty comical. I could not make decisions to save my life. Sebastian would do his best to not bash his head against the wall.

I have to say that his patience was beyond admirable~Especially when it was ready to launch a month ago, and then I called him stressed to the max and told him I wanted to scrap the whole background and start over. Fun times, let me tell you.

Despite how crazy I could get, Sebastian always remained calm and collected. He always heard me out and honored my opinions and decisions. I cannot express how thankful I am for him and his expertise throughout this process.

Anyways, long story short, after hours and hours of work, I am finally at a place where I am ready to unveil the site. By no means is it finished. Sebastian and I still have quite a few kinks we need to work out. I also know that the site will always be a work in progress. But I do have to say that it has been pretty awesome to experience the process of starting with nothing, and creating something that has since turned into a labor of love.

I hope you like it and find it user friendly enough while we continue to improve the site.

From here on out, I will post my new entries on the new site. This Blogger site (katiejaskolski.blogspot.com) will stay up for now, and I will post the links to my new posts on this site during this transition period.

So without further adieu, I am moving on to this site:

www.lifeasazebra.com

Thank you for reading, for the support, for making this fun, and for bearing with me while I get used to "Life as a Zebra." I look forward to you reading along as I continue to maneuver my way through this crazy thing called life.

~Katie XO

Friday, August 12, 2011

Done and DONE!

I did it. After my previous post this week about writer's block, I finally submitted my first piece of writing in a contest. Who knew 300 words or less would give me so many new gray hairs?! Who knew that writing 300 words would take 6 hours today, and multiple attempts in the last month?

Thank you for your comments, support, and offers to help. Thank you Kritt for being so patient with me all afternoon while I filled up your GMail account with drafts. Thank you Sara for telling me about the contest and kicking me in the butt to enter.

Now I wait...

Win or lose, I did it and I am honestly pleased with how it turned out.

Five For Friday 8/12/11

1. Medical Stuff:

3 Days of Home Rehab. My shoulder did not pop out of socket. Correlation? I think so.

1 Day of PT.

I had a Dr. Rosen appointment. We talked more about the future and reviewed what is in my control and what is not. Needed that!

I had my monthly appointment with Larry. We also made a future plan. I will explain more when I know more facts.

I spent a lot of time on record request paperwork this week.

2. Remember a few months ago, when I showed you the painting by my Grandma Marie that I found in my parent's basement? If you recall, I took it to a specialty store, who shipped it off to a lady who does restorative work. After three months and a lot of needed restorative work (including her signature), it was finally ready to be picked up. I can't wait for it to be hung in our den. It will be priceless to see my Grandma's work hanging on our wall each day.

3. Yesterday was our 4th anniversary. Our tradition is to go to Hawk Hollow at 4:00 (where and when we got married) on our anniversary each year, and then go to Mitchell's Fish Market for dinner. Last year, I had to skip the trip to Hawk Hollow because I was so sick. Thankfully we were able to make it back there this year.

4. When I ordered my computer, a color cover came with it for a penny. It was shipped separately and arrived a week later than my computer. Brad and I will definitely never get our laptops confused now!

5. My Aunt Laurie sent me this video this week. Great "food" for thought! Are you a carrot, egg, or coffee bean?

http://www.flickspire.com/m/LifeSecrets/CarrotsEggsCoffee#.TkWlwBlJnWy.gmail

Thursday, August 11, 2011

4 Years

Happy Anniversary to us!

I am proud of us.

That pretty much sums up how I feel on our anniversary this year...and what a year it has been.

I look back at the first three years we were married. It was pretty effortless to be honest. We both worked full time, money was never an object, we were as healthy as could be, and we felt like we had the whole world in the palm of our hands.

Then the curveballs came.

It has not been easy. There has been a lot of change. And we have been on a seemingly unending roller coaster.

Together.

In a ~~twisted~~ funny way, this fourth year of marriage has been my favorite, and the best yet.

I have experienced unconditional love in the purest form. We have kicked a lot of adversity's butt. We have become stronger. We have defied odds. We have seen each other at our worst. We have leaned on each other. We have made each other laugh, when we both felt like crying. We have loved hard, supported hard, given hard, and have compromised hard. We have learned the true meaning of being a partner, and we have come to appreciate each other so much more.

Together.

Maybe we do still have the whole world in the palm of our hands, since despite everything, we are happier than ever.

That is why I am proud of us.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Gorilla Taming

As you can see, I did not write the piece below. I wanted to post it though, because I find it to be a brilliant description of learning to live life with a chronic illness.

Each time I read the following piece, I think about my specialists (especially Dr. Grubb and Dr. Lavallee) who are encouraging me to tame my gorilla.

Living with chronic illness
By Helen Scott-Jackson

Acquiring a disability is a bit like getting home to find there's a gorilla in your house. You contact the approved and official channels to get rid of infestations of wild animals (in this case, the doctors) and they umm and aah and suck air in through their teeth before saying something roughly equivalent to "what you've got 'ere, mate, is a gorilla, and there ain't really a lot what we can do about them, see..." before sending you back home to the gorilla's waiting arms.

The gorilla in your house will cause problems in every part of your life. Your spouse may decide that (s)he can't deal with the gorilla, and leave. Your boss may get upset that you've brought the gorilla to work with you and it's disrupting your colleagues, who don't know how to deal with gorillas. You're arriving for work wearing a suit the gorilla has slept on. Some days you don't turn up at all because at the last minute, the gorilla has decided to barricade you into the bathroom or sit on you so you can't get out of bed. Your friends will get cheesed off because when you see them - which isn't often, because they don't want to come to your house for fear of the gorilla and the gorilla won't always let you out - your only topic of conversation is this darn gorilla and the devastation it is causing.

There are three major approaches to the gorilla in your house.

One is to ignore it and hope it goes away. This is unlikely to work. A 300-lb gorilla will sleep where he likes, and if that's on top of you, it will have an effect on you.

Another is to try and force the gorilla out, wrestling constantly with it, spending all your time fighting it. This is often a losing battle. Some choose to give all their money to people who will come and wave crystals at the gorilla, from a safe distance of course. This also tends to be a losing battle. However, every so often, one in a hundred gorillas will get bored and wander off. The crystal-wavers and gorilla-wrestlers will claim victory, and tell the media that it's a massive breakthrough in gorilla-control, and that the 99 other gorilla-wrestlers just aren't doing it right due to sloppy thinking or lack of commitment. The 99 other gorilla-wrestlers won't have the time or energy to argue.

I have known people spend the best years of their life and tens of thousands of pounds trying to force their gorillas to go away. The tragedy is that even if it does wander off for a while, they won't get their pre-gorilla lives back. They'll be older, skint, exhausted, and constantly afraid that the gorilla may well come back.

The third way to deal with the gorilla in your house is to accept it, tame it, and make it part of your life. Figure out a way to calm your gorilla down. Teach it how to sit still until you are able to take it places with you without it making a scene. Find out how to equip your home with gorilla-friendly furnishings and appliances. Negotiate with your boss about ways to accommodate, or even make use of, your gorilla. Meet other people who live with gorillas and enjoy having something in common, and share gorilla-taming tips.

Some people get really upset about this and throw around accusations of "giving up" and "not even trying". They even suggest that you enjoy having a gorilla around because of the attention it gets you (while ignoring the massive pile of steaming gorilla-turds in your bedroom every morning and night, not to mention your weekly bill for bananas). The best way to deal with these people is to smile and remind yourself that one day, they too will have a gorilla in their house.

Light Bulbs

I love the a-ha moments in life...the ones where my light bulb all of a sudden changes from pitch black to ON.

I was blessed to have two of these moments yesterday.

The first one happened at my appointment with Dr. Rosen. We were getting to the end of our hour, and I told him, "There's just one more thing I wanted to ask...Can Propranalol make you gain weight?" I explained that I have noticed my weight slowly creeping up, even though I have not really been eating any differently (except for vacation), and I have been trying to increase my activity more and more. I told him that it has really been bothering me because it feels like something is just off.

Dr. Rosen commented on how my muscle mass has noticeably increased, and that could account for the weight gain.

I must not have looked convinced.

I shook my head, and told him that something else just didn't seem right. He told me to go through my med list again with him, and we would see if he missed one that could explain some weight gain. When I got to the end of my list, Dr. Rosen, shook his head and said, besides maybe the birth control, I don't think any of the others would cause weight gain. I joked and said, "Fine, I'll just chalk it up to turning the big 3-0 in 2 months."

He laughed, wrote me a prescription, and started to fill out my check-out form. As he was writing, I realized I had missed telling him one of my meds. I nonchalantly said, "I also take Testosterone cream every night, but that's just a lotion..."

Oh, man, the look on Dr. Rosen's face was priceless. He started laughing, shaking his head and said, "Bingo!" He asked how long I had been applying the cream, and I told him since January to help with the healing from prolotherapy treatments. Smiling, he said, "Katie, you have been roiding up for 8 months! Of course that can make you bigger; even if it is a low dose!"

My light bulb got REAL bright.

He reminded me that people use Testosterone to get bigger, and that is why it is illegal in the NCAA world. He added that even though I thought it was "just a lotion," the topical cream can be even more effective and potent than the pills.

A-Ha moment #1.

My second light bulb moment came from remembering something that Dr. Grubb had said at my POTS appointment in July. We had talked about my relentless "coat hanger pain," with sitting and standing and how it is commonly a part of Dysautonomia (specifically, POTS). When I told him, that I get horrible pain from my skull to my shoulders, Dr. Grubb explained that it was because of poor blood flow.  From there we had switched to another topic, and we never came back to the neck pain topic, even though it was one of my chief complaints.

There was just so much other stuff to talk about AND I have always thought that most of my pain issues were from EDS and not POTS.

So yesterday, when I thought I could not keep my head up any longer because of the pain, I remembered the quick comment Dr. Grubb had made about the coat hanger area not getting a lot of blood.

I decided to lay down on my massage pillow and rest (which often helps relieve the pain), and dig a little deeper into Dysautonomia and coat hanger pain. I found a couple articles, that explained everything I experience to a T. It explained that when a person with Dysautonomia is upright, the brain is looking for all the blood it can get. Because the neck and shoulders are closest to the brain, the brain steals blood from these areas. Also, when the blood pools, it often pools in the legs and abdomen. Because gravity is such an issue, it is hard to get enough blood up to the "coat hanger" area, resulting in hard-as-a-rock muscles, and pretty bad pain.

This also seems to explain why my bad neck days are my bad POTS days.

I read how massage can be very helpful, as well as moving around if upright since both of these techniques can help keep blood circulating.

A-Ha Moment #2.

So what do I do about these things?

I guess I keep "roiding" up and hope I do not look like Hulk Hogan when I am done with the cream. I must also find a very kind massage therapist who is just dying to learn about EDS and POTS in exchange for massage services.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Mental BLOCK

After much encouragement from family and friends, I am entering a contest.

I like a challenge, I really do.

But it is a writing contest with a very SMALL and a very STRICT word limit.

I am hating, hating, hating the word limit.

No matter how many times I work the entry, I can't seem to get it to reflect ME. It seems I am merely able to get to the facts because of the limit. No flair, no emotion, no pizazz. Just boring.

I like to be wordy if you haven't noticed.

It is starting to get really frustrating, and even more challenging, which is making my ~~OCD~~ determination go into overdrive.

I have resorted to telling you all this because I am willing to try anything right about now, to get past this writer's block. Time is running out.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Five For Friday +2...8/7/11

I'm back! Since I was on vacation all week, this will have to be the vacation edition of Five For Friday.

1. Medical Stuff:

My PT gave me permission to "just relax and enjoy the week" since I was on vacation. However, I did do one day of rehab at the beach house, which I quickly figured out was not enough. After 5 days of no rehab, I began to feel like my joints were coming unglued again. It is amazing how fast my joints start to go downhill, without doing any strengthening. At one point, I picked CeCe Baby up, and my shoulder popped out of socket. Thankfully, my Mom was there to catch her. Good to know, but also a big reality check that rehab will forever be a part of my life to maintain function. Needless to say, I will be back at it hardcore tomorrow...

2. On the first day of vacation, I dropped my camera on the way to the beach, and it immediately broke. I am feeling very lost without it. I will be using Brad's school camera until I decide on a new camera to buy.

3. We started our vacation off rockin' in Grand Rapids. We went to Billy's Bar to hear Steppin' In It play with Jill, Daric, Carolyn, and Bill. When I experience a Steppin In It show, it always amazes me that they are not bigger than they are. You can't catch that good of a show these days for just 5 bucks. It's Heaven, I tell ya.

4. We got to our beach house in Grand Haven on Saturday. First stop after unpacking? The beach of course. Lake Michigan was so warm, and we caught an amazing sunset. That was the moment I knew that we were in for an incredible week.

5. I think I gained 1462627 pounds this past week. A zillion trips to Ms. Lisa's for ice cream will do that to you. Nuts and berries for me from here on out.

+1. The boys (Dad, Doug, Brad, Jake, Gabe, D.J.) went on a fishing charter trip on Thursday. They brought home 50+ pounds of salmon. Yum. Let's just say we will be "Forrest Gumping" it for quite some time...Salmon cakes, salmon stew, salmon burgers, salmon skewers, salmon pie, baked salmon, grilled salmon, lemon salmon, blackened salmon....

+2. Other Highlights:

Beach, beach, and more beach.
Beautiful weather.
Playing CRANIUM! And my sister's firing me from the creative cat category.
Dancing on the 3rd floor balcony with Dad always singing 5 notes behind.
Major bonding time with Brad, Mom, Dad, Kritt, Jake, Allie, Gabe, Cecilia, Holly, Khristy, Katy Rose, D.J., Sue, Doug, Jill, Daric, Jameson, Cami.
Tubing, Jet skiing, water volleyball, tacos, and trampolining at the Izzo's.
Making Coach Izzo pinky swear that he would be kind to me while I was on the tube, and him keeping his promise.
Seat Drop and Add On Wars.
Showing the boys up on the tubes.
Watching CeCe Baby become addicted to Lucky Charms and Iphones.
Khristy's omelette's every morning.
Coast Guard Week...watching the ships come in.
Swimming in crazy waves while watching the crazy surfers.
The third floor nightly hangouts and talks.
Doug cheating at Euchre. (That's why we won).
Elmo's World and Elmo's ABC's over and over and over again...
Being able to hear the musical fountain from our balcony.
Katy and I making brownies.
Daily recharging naps.
Andy on a stick.
Getting "scolded "at night because our giggles were keeping Gabe awake.
Mom chucking corn.
So many deer.
Katy Rose "waxing" my eyebrows everyday.
Brad and my jet ski ride.
Amazing food all the time.
Brad saying on the way home.."Okay, now I have MAJOR baby fever."
Simply, getting away from it all and being immersed in what life is all about...

Living. Family. Lots of Love.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Five For Friday 7/29/11

1. Medical Stuff:

3 Days of Home Rehab.
1 Day of PT. We worked a lot on trying to get my lower scaps to fire properly.
Round 7 of prolotherapy on my ribs, neck, and jaw. Yes, jaw. I return in 6 weeks for round 8.

Not the most flattering picture, but you get the idea.

2. Last Friday, Jill, Daric, Jameson, and Cami met us in East Lansing to see one of our favorite bands, Steppin' In It. Seeing Steppin' In It outside on a perfect summer night is one of my very favorite things to do.

Jameson gettin' down

Cami loving the live music

and her Uncle Brad

and the metal ducks

I heart you Steppin' In It (with Racheal Davis, aka Shout Sister Shout)

3. Saturday afternoon, Meghan, Sebastian, and Jackson came to visit. The only problem with our visits is we never have enough time. We could sit and chat all day. But I will definitely take all of the time that we do have together.

It was HOT and Jackson was not having anything to do with clothes. Can't say I blamed him.

Friends for 22+ years

After I posted this a while back, Meghan made it her mission to find the actual Dr. Seuss Book. She was successful and surprised me with the book!

"So you see! There's no end to the things you might know,

depending how far beyond zebra you go!"

4. I would like to introduce you to my brand new baby...

5. And I would also like to introduce you to my drug of choice so far this summer...

Monday, July 25, 2011

MIA

I am sorry, blog, but I will be pretty neglectful for the next two weeks. I am busy working on giving you a prettier, more informational, more loving home. Therefore, most of my time this week will be occupied working on this project. I am also traveling to Mishawaka tomorrow for round 7 of prolotherapy, so I will be out of commission for the next couple of days.

Then, this weekend begins vacation with the fam. Can you believe it's almost here? I don't think the technology is available at the vacation house to bring you along but we will just have to see.

After vacation, I promise to love you up lots and lots.

Thank you for being patient with me.

Love,

Me XOXO

Friday, July 22, 2011

Five For Friday 7/22/11

1. Medical Stuff:

Slow on the medical front this week! I still need a new neck though!

1 day of PT

2 days of Home Rehab

I received the book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People from Dr. Grubb.

2. We spent last weekend in Minnesota celebrating Eric and Teal's nuptials. Here's a few pictures from our adventure...and boy, was it an adventure. I have not laughed that hard in a long time.

Jason and Todd-so excited

Don't be fooled by my smile~I was shaking and breaking Brad's hand

Sara and I with Jason ;)

I can now say I've been to the Mall of America, which I have also nicknamed, PPN~"POTS person's nightmare"

Catching up!

Brad and Eric on the "Wedding Eve Eve"

First time playing pull tabs...Not one winner!

Making memories

Group shot by the St. Croix River

We spent a lot of time in this pool

Rehearsal Dinner

Me and Sara= Great Buds

Lunch at B Dubs before the wedding

Girls in black

Strike a pose

Ryan and Scott were trying to rock our pose :)

Brad doing his groomsman duties

Such a beautiful couple! Mr. and Mrs. Bassett!

They didn't get the message that we were walking like Egyptians

Grandma Wanda's jam is amazing! I came home with 5 more jars.

Peach soup!

Hanging out after the wedding

3. On Wednesday, Stephanie (My SIL) brought Kendall (our niece), and Jill (SIL) brought Cameron and Jameson (our nieces) to Lansing to visit. We ended up having lunch at El Azteco and then spending the day at Impression 5. Impression 5 has such a great new play room for kids, ages birth-4. Plus, it was the one room in the place that was air conditioned!

Cami was chowing down on some salsa

It's definitely a challenge to get all three to look at the camera AND smile at the same time. Still so cute!

Bubbles!

Kendall

Cami

Jameson

4. I drove to my Dad to his foot appointment. The good news is his foot is all healed and he is out of his boot. The bad news for him, and the great news for my Mom, is it's back to chores for him; especially mowing the lawn :)

5. I found this shirt in Minnesota at the "Life is Good" Store!

A "Life is Good" Zebra!